It's time to change things up a little around here, and no, I don't mean make them funny. If you want to look at something funny, maybe you should look at your face!
See? Not funny at all. Seriously though, you look like you could stand to have a little work done. Just down around the chin area, maybe tighten things up a tad. Hey, I'm kidding! You actually seem like you would be a model. You're probably reading this a few minutes before your photo shoot, but directly after you made love to 5 other models, who were also quite stunning. They were no match for your beauty, but you get the idea. They were pretty hot. Which is a compliment to you, not that you need compliments. Compliments are primarly for ugly people.
Ok, that paragraph was dyslexic even by my standards. That's why I need to revamp things--because sometimes it seems like I can't stay on topic for more than 1 sentence, there's just letters going everywhere hey what's everybody's favorite color? No wait, don't close your browser. I've got it now. I've got the solution, and the solution has this name: The Magnetic Poetry Kit, Original Edition. That's right, the little magnets you put on your refrigerator to make beautiful poems. My guess is that with a random sampling of 8th grade vocab words arranged with no regard for syntax or meaning, I'll be able to express myself more efficiently in my posts. Or at least with equal efficiency. Ok, certainly, the results could be no worse. And I'd like to get started immediately. For example, I had a pretty wild experience the other day, but I won't trust myself with the telling. No, I will let the power of the magnetic poetry kit speak for me. I think you'll find it does a rather eloquent job. This is what happened, more or less:
the languid sky sleeps softly,
eternity and sausage.
death!
Crazy, huh? I can't believe that happened to me, it was truly a unique experience. Alright, I think this is going really well, did you understand the meaning of that last one? I know, it was pretty easy. Which reminds me, one of my friends just had a baby last week. I think my thoughts on that can best be described in the following way:
the puppy is an apparatus, rain falls
the sky is like a whisper. a chocolate garden?
death!
I know, I used 'sky' and 'death' again. But I think I'm really onto something there. Especially with sky. If you talk about the sky in any poem, success is virtually guaranteed. Like this:
sky. shadows fall.
the night sky
That's basically a pulitzer prize winner by default. By the way, the gist of this poem is that we are all very primal beings, yet we are forced to find happiness while imprisoned by the social and cultural mores of modern society. As if that wasn't obvious. I should give you guys more credit. Alright, since it's obvious I'm hitting on all cylinders here, we'll do one more:
a ship is incubated
madly through the sordid picture, a forest
the ing at on in ly
death?
Ok, I have to be honest--I don't know where I was going with that one. It basically looks like a spelling test study sheet from elementary school, with some prepositions thrown in toward the end. Indeed, not representative of my best work. But keep in mind that the main goal of this exercise was to show a sampling of what I'm capable of. If you like it, great. If you don't, well, that means you've read maybe 1 other poem in your entire life, and it happened to be better than all of mine put together. Not surprising.
However, I'm not about to give up. For poems can tell a beautiful story. Not any of mine, but take my word for it. I think the main problem is this dumb kit, it's probably defective or something...
posted by Erik @ 4:48 PM
10 Comments:
Congratulations, Mr. Ryan!
What brilliant masterpieces! Their poignance leaves me almost speechless, but not quite!
Allow me to interpret your first, and perhaps most interesting work for you.
the languid sky sleeps softly,
eternity and sausage.
death!
Any poem that ends with "death!" is clearly about the process of life, since life, like this poem, ends with death.
"the languid sky sleeps softly"
This is about nature, and the universe, how it existed before we were born, and its indifference is hinted at by the word "languid", meaning in a sense, lazy. The importance of the word sky is that it is the boundary of nature and the universe; a rather 'soft' boundary, suggesting a similarity in personality of the heavens and the earth. The alliteration with the repeated use of the letter s near the end of that sentence also hints at the interpretation of languid as lazy; offering subtle onomatopoeia. The idea of a softly sleeping sky also conjures up images of the peaceful surroundings of the womb, where a baby lies before it's birth. This is consistent with the interpretation of the poem as the process of life.
"eternity and sausage,"
This line is clearly about man and his inherent boredom. The life of man passes, again, in an indifferent universe, and the lack of meaning causes boredom which makes life seem like an eternity. The word eternity not only applies to the boredom of one man and his life, but also of all of mankind, and the lack of meaning in its existence. "sausage" is a word used to subtly suggest both food, and reproduction. The interpretation of it as food leads to the broader concept of survival, which often, seems to be the meaning of life. As mankind, the species, survival is definitely of utmost importance. From interpreting it as reproduction, this also seems to be about meaning in life. Every man, naturally, wants to leave behind his legacy, and as a species, we strive to continue. This line subtly asks the question Why? Why do we strive to survive and reproduce when all we face is this eternal boredom of a life and an indifferent universe?
This last question is really the essence of this poem. It has an underlying exitenstential philosophy that invites you to ask questions about life, the universe and everything.
The double t's of "eternity" matched with the double s's of "sausage" offers a sense of awkwardness about the line, mimicking the way we tend to live our lives: clumsily.
And finally, like life, the poem ends with "death!" Another very existential concept is applied here... Why ask questions about the meaning of life and existence? Why wonder when we, ultimately, will be taken by death, and returned to the indifferent universe?
It is also important to note that that the poem ends abruptly, in one short syllable. This suggests the unexpectedness of the end of human life, and merely hints at the surprising inevitable unexpectedness of the end of humankind.
The mood of this poem is rather despondent, reaffirming the poet's existential viewpoint. The exclamation mark appears to suggest otherwise, but this actually adds to the dismal attitude of the poetry, since it is death that the poet excites about.
wow... i came to post my magnetic poetry that i did online and found an analysis of yours... now i'm nervous to post mine.
oh well, here i go (n.b. i used the "pickup lines" edition so i had some interesting selections):
can you talk a little
or look good like tequila?
and then my favorite:
i am wrong to marry astronaut pants.
or is that the only thing
a nice girl ever told you?
oh good, another way to procrastinate...
last one (from the genius edition)
the mellifluous miscreant
caterwauls about vapid observation
as i abscond your
gratuitous carapace
(and YES i know what all those words mean)
a truly enjoyable critique. :) i didn't know i was even that smart!initially, i thought my best poem was the 3rd one--for which i will probably still earn an emmy nominaton or golden seal of some kind.
but back to your review of my first work of genius. i think it's very true what you say about the double t's in 'eternity'. i was hoping that wouldn't escape your discerning eye, and i was not disappointed.
finally, i'm even more impressed now with my poem than i was to begin with, which is difficult to imagine. most of all, though, i'm impressed that you were able to recognize the impact of my work, and how i will undoubtedly influence the work of many future poets. c'mon, you know that will happen.
p.s. no more posting anonymously from you! that's it, the gloves are coming off!
i see that heatherfeather has managed to sneak in a comment in a clandestine manner. and i know what THAT word means, so don't get smart.
i like the one where you talk about astronaut pants, it moves me in a way i cannot describe. another word for that last concept is ineffable. questions? i didn't think so.
Erik, Erik, Erik What are we going to do with you? You and that artsy fartsy anonymous guy can’t fool me. I have just combined all of your poems together and took every third letter except if the 2nd letter before the 3rd letter is a vowel in which case I took the following two letters in a row unless that particular word happened to be plural in which case I went back 5 letters. I then put all these letters together and turned them upside down. I then (yes, you guessed it) took all the letters reading the same upside down like small case letters o, s, x & z and capital letters H, I, N, O, S, & Z and inserted these letters in front of every 4th Consonant.
Erik, how dumb do you think we are? This is code breaker 101 stuff.
Anyway it spelled out: "I am still hopelessly in love with Britney Spears."
Erik, this is a sweet and clever way of conveying your feelings to Britney but it’s something we all knew already. What a waste of time.
Yeah, what Blogball said! Nice try at trickery!
Lois Lane
i laughed at this post. was i supposed to do that? does it mean i'm not cultured or whatever?
just checking, because sometimes i feel intimidated to hang out in a place with such smart people, who are erudite plus read a lot and know things.
anyway, i have a haiku, or senryu or whatever-the-hay they're called. i'd appreciate any kind of help with the tone and stuff...
astronaut pants rock
my chocolate sausage of death;
big poem suckage
my boobs are an apparatus, milk falls
the bra is like a vice. a chocolate bath?
death! (to those who don't go see my boobs posted on the internet!)
Lois Lane
Boobs on the internet? Surely the Internet People wouldn't allow that. Would they?
blogball-your decoding skills are second to none, i will grant you that much. however, have you considered that i might've *wanted* you to break the code? NOW who's on top again?
lois, bryan is right--boobs are strictly prohibited on all web sites, but not man-boobs. man-boobs are still okay, which is nice.
bryan, all i can say is that it's good you're open to suggestions as far as your poetry. :)
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