Maybe you're curious as to why I haven't hacked out any semi-coherent thoughts for a few days now. Or maybe you were hoping I'd finally given up, I don't know. I can't speak to your every last twisted motivation, nor do I know for certain that you don't have a debilitating mental condition which prevents you from even sounding out the words you're looking at right now, much less making any sense of them. From what I've seen so far, I'm inclined to believe the latter, but I could be way off base. Okay, that was over the line, you didn't deserve that. But news flash, people: I have feelings too, or maybe you forgot about the concept of people having feelings? And then other people disregarding those same feelings, which the first person originally had? It's as if you're a futuristic cyborg, but the emotional kind, where the cyborg just marches coldly over the person's emotions. Let me explain:

Most of the time, you'll come here (taking for granted that there is even a site as cool as this one), and you'll find I've once again provided illuminating and insightful commentary on current events that shape our world. Or maybe you'll come here, remember how badly it sucks, and then possibly go onto a different site for the current events thing. Whatever, I'm basically fine with that. Ok, I'm not. That's actually the problem here. At any given time, I may have as many as 4 to 6 pieces of insightful commentary going on in my head, but all you care about is if I have a joke to tell.

I also know a lot about superheroes and I've been wanting to discuss my comic book collection for some time, but I get the feeling you're not interested in that, either. Specifically, I've wanted to share my thoughts on Amazing Spiderman #223, but I guess you wouldn't have time to learn about it, since life is apparently one big joke. You've seen both Spiderman movies, and that's suddenly enough for you. I guess a vague understanding of the basic hollywood storyline is sufficient, and you're comfortable with an almost infantile understanding of Peter Parker's character. Being aware of a laughably tiny fraction of the adventures which have shaped Peter's life is somehow ok in your mind. Try as I might, I just can't understand apathy on that level, and I don't think I want to. I suspect yours to be a sickness for which there is no cure, but since I have this little thing I like to call "compassion", I'm going to give you a basic idea of what's going on in this issue.

In the opening panels, Peter is shown toiling away in a seemingly innocuous setting, the Midtown High School laboratory. Dr. Connors (no, not Dr. Octavius, or "Doctor Octupus". If you were more diligent in your readings, you might've known that Otto Octavius was locked in a psychiatric ward from issues #200 through #232) then enters the lab, to discuss an experiment on which the two scientists have been collaborating. If you weren't already aware, Peter Parker knows a thing or two about science, ok? But you will never understand this, or his inner demons--what drives him to be a hero every day, what it costs to wear the uniform. You have no concept. So I'm just going to summarize the rest of it, because this isn't fun for me anymore. Dr. Connors turns into a human lizard and kills some people, and then Peter feels guilty and beats up the lizard. There, I'm done.

Now can you see how maybe there's more to life than joking around? Sure, everything's real funny until you have lizards killing people. And stabbing them with claws, IN THEIR EYES. Yeah, that's really hilarious, isn't it? Well what if I said this entire post was about paying proper respect to the heroes in our own lives? I agree, it seems like a stretch. But it's really all I've got. So if you could just roll with it, that'd be cool...