December 25th, 2004- I purged again today. I promised myself I wouldn't, Brittany and I agreed we wouldn't, but it was just too much food. Cutie Kayden's coming over later but he would never like me anyway even if I was skinny but I still did it. Maybe I'll just tell Brit I stuck to our promise anyway, ha ha...oh yeah and I hate my breasts, lol!!

Oops, hold up. That was an entry from my little sister's diary, sorry. Let me find my stuff. Ok, yeah. I was having Christmas vacation recently, and noticed that it's better than working. Have you noticed that too? Anyway, I actually celebrate Kwanza, because I like to keep people guessing. When people ask me what I did for Christmas, I always say, "Do you mean Kwanza?", and call them racist provincialists. This is often confusing for them, since I'm white. But sometimes you have to make a stand.

So this year was pretty nice, really. If you must know. I wrote 2, or 3, novels, I can't remember which, slept in, and consumed many non-Surgeon General-approved food items, any one of which might've instantly hardened the arteries of a lesser man. Being of more sound constitution than most, the chocolate donuts and eggnog stood no chance. Don't try to deny me my pizza at 1:30 am, either, because I will just try to sneak it if you do. I will eat everything in sight, please understand that.

I also dedicated a good deal of energy toward reminding my 3 nephews who their favorite uncle was, which required more physical encouragement than I had anticipated. It took a good hour to break them, as they proved to be quite resilient. I would never tell them this, but I was secretly proud of their defiance. Kids really crack me up though, how they think you will really make them run naked through the mean dog's yard. Yeah, like I have time to take you to the hospital and all that. Think it through, geniuses--and stop crying.

What else? Oh yeah, you know how people often say their family is crazy, as in, "what a bunch of yahoos" or, "my brother is such a character"? I hear where these people are coming from, but with my family it's different, because they're crazy like "should probably be hospitalized" crazy. Mostly, if I'm very still and don't make sudden movements, we make it through. Board games can be touch-and-go though, let me tell you. Just kidding guys, you know I love you! And for the last time, I am not a secret government agent who is trying to put a tracking chip in your brain! Ok, great!

Ah, Kwanza with the family. If only I had a powerful sleeping aid, I would put it in their eggnog.