Hobos Can Be Rich--With The Spirit Of Thanksgiving

As I was pondering the prospect of imminent turkey consumption, I discovered a few innovative, not to mention brilliant, thoughts I had. Since you’ll probably just keep bugging me until I share them, here you are: My first epiphany was that many families get together, eat and do other stuff on Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving “traditions”, if you will. But let me take this a step further. Homeless people, even though they’re not really people per se, must know about Thanksgiving, right? Right?? So what do they do on this special day, especially if they’re one of those “lone wolf” homeless people? I’m willing to bet that in your general insensitivity to streetperson culture, you just assumed they wouldn’t have any traditions. So now scoring good meth, putting a yellow cleaning glove on your head, and shouting unintelligibly at passing cars doesn’t count for anything? I guess going into a Jack-in-the-Box, acting like you want to order something, and then just stealing ketchup and other condiments isn’t “high class” enough for you. I can almost see your smug faces right now. I guess you have all the ketchup you need, maybe that’s what’s going on here. Maybe in high school you sat at the Carl's Jr. table and hit the ketchup packet with your fist, exploding it all over everything. I will grant you, that was pretty funny. Heh...wow, that's still pretty funny. But let’s collect ourselves.

Even though these people are essentially worthless as human beings, they still might do stuff on Thanksgiving other than walk around with a urine smell. Ok? I’m sorry, I don’t mean to scold you. It’s just that I’ve always had the ability to identify with those who are so far below me in life that they are like tiny little ant creatures. You can call it a gift, or you can call it noble. I just call it compassion.