Viva La Diference

There's a song by John Mayer called "Daughters". It has some thought-provoking ideas in it, like daughters are good to have, women are people too, etc., etc. Really quite tiresome, but if it makes the girls randy, I am supportive. Only to a point, though, because part of a line in the song goes something like this:

"...she's just like a maze where all of the walls all continually change."

This is sung lovingly, wistfully, as if it were a good thing. Now. The concept of a maze where the walls are continually changing is a nightmare, ok? For any normal person, this is an extremely unpleasant concept. That's just basic human psychology. Yet, somehow, since it's in a John Mayer song, it's magically romantic. Well guess what, John, you're not fooling anybody. Last week, your girlfriend gave you a suggestive wink when you told her you were going to show her who was boss. Today, when you said the same thing, she walked off in a huff, and then made you ask what was wrong for 20 minutes. That was a barrel full of laughs, wasn't it? Alright, that was a blatant, cliched stereotype, and I apologize. I can envision absolutely no scenario in which this would ever occur, because that wouldn't make any sense. It's so absurd that I don't know even know why I typed it.

Now before you pretty ladies get all disgruntled, hear me out. If women were always exactly the same as men, or even exactly the same as themselves, life wouldn't be as fun. Sure, there would be co-ed xbox nights, and that seems nice in principle--but I'm fairly certain the divorce rate would triple. One good thing, no more tupperware parties. Actually, I could go either way on that one. The value of locking those leftovers down tightly and conveniently is not lost on me. If you pressed me on it, I would admit I'm in favor of most Rubbermaid products. But let's get back on track. Variety is the spice of life, and relationships might get stagnant, or even enjoyable, if the fairer sex were remotely predictable. Because if we want to make broad, sweeping characterizations, and we do, it could be said that women will use any and every possible tactic, if it means they get to change their minds. This has been scientifically verified, so I won't spend too much time on it.

All I will say is this, which is my main point, more or less. Many guys tend to be dangerously violent, immature and thoughtless, but no one would write lyrics which suggested these were super-great qualities. I can hear it now:

"...he's like a stupid brick wall that will punch your lights out and forget your birthday, I love him so..."

It might just be me, but I'm guessing that song doesn't break into the top 10. Are you getting all this John? If we could dispense with the lyrics which encourage non-productive female behavior, that would be great. We're a team here, let's stick together.