My brother occasionally sends me random Guru.com postings from employers looking for help. For those of you not in the know, Guru.com is the world's largest online market place for freelance talent. Just navigate over there and check it out for yourself if you don't believe me. Very simple. Might I also add that your brazen, self-confident swagger seems out of place for someone who is not even aware of such basic information. Your insolence notwithstanding--he sends me these posts, which, generally speaking, appear to be written by dyslexic infants. But this is good, because we then allow ourselves a laugh, as we contemplate our intellectual superiority. As you know, the best way to build self-esteem quickly is to belittle others. Read this one below, you will feel like a super-genius by the end of it.

Project ID: 134554
Title: sy-life(bio) design programs
Category: Programming / Software / Database Development
Description: Develop genetic compter programs. That can in full ,but easy for humans to understand show how there inner workings works exactly, how they produce other products ,how those products work and can qalso do so with any other progam(gentic or not). Devolop genetic computer programs to design biologic lifeforms basic elements to complexityies high than human in a very short time period.Also can do so even faster with Dna and such as starting piont.Will also needed genetic programs to design the computers fror all this software.Also genetic software to do mass deta mining for these others. Magament gentic software will be need plus the same for software on when to best and safelly test the simulation agaist realty espically the biologcial lifeform ceated out of the programs. [end of description]

This person is probably just being funny, but what would be really funny is if somebody worked on that for 15 years, and presented their findings: "Fellow scientists and engineers: I have developed a genetic computer program to design biologic life forms basic elements to complexityies high. I don't know what that means, but I have done it nonetheless".

Ok, let's look at another one. This one is a little more straightforward, yet equally useless:

Project ID: 122563
Title: Web Database Developer
Category: Programming / Software / Database Development
Description: I need someone to develop an educational website that will allow students to learn online. [end of description]

I think they go into far too much unnecessary detail here. Why even mention that they need a website? Maybe they could just say, "I have a project. It will have a computer in it. Also maybe a mouse, but possibly not. Included in your quote, please submit random guesses as to what word I'm thinking of right now...Nope, it was zynklfaq. Ok, try again. Nope, it was kapessquaw! Email bid quotes to noreallyimactuallyretarded@hotmail.com. Thank you."

In closing, I can't believe how smart I am compared to everyone else. Could somebody email me a first-grader's book report? I will rip that to shreds.