Child Labor Laws: Good or Bad? Bad

Initially, I was fine with these legistlative abominations, as I thought they designated the specific ways in which the ungrateful infants in this country must pull their weight. Well, we've been mislead and the truth is not pretty. Apparently, their purpose is to prevent the widespread exploitation and death of children. If you buy into the whole "human rights" agenda the politically correct crowd is pushing these days, sure. But what it boils down to is that the statutes currently in place to protect our nation's youth from wallowing in condemned, slave-like hell holes, are simply not practical for me. Most of these whining urchins died way back during the Industrial Revolution (1986-1988) in iron and coal mines. Do we even have mines anymore? Is there any mining going on? Good question, I'm actually not sure. I think there may be a few stainless steel or perhaps brass mines somewhere in Eurasia, but don't quote me on that. The point is, these labor laws are essentially "mining" laws, and their expiration date is past due, my friends.

Basically, it's time for big government to do a "big" back off. Every time they get involved, something happens where they make it harder for me to oppress the weak, and take their money. I guess the communists running Washington think I'm crapping greenbacks over here. Well I'm not, and unless I can hire some of those little runts to work 16 straight hours for virtually nothing (ok, nothing), then we've got a problem--a little problem I like to call "not being able to customize my Ferrari". Yes, it's time for a little pruning, Uncle Sam.

We already know that God likes America the best out of all the developed countries, and definitely more than crap-holes like Ecuador. But I ask you: How much more dominant could we be if threats of frivolous litigation weren't looming every single time a small child died in a gruesome and unnecessary factory accident? I think you know the answer to that. Stone Cold Steve Austin-dominant. The Guh-venator-dominant. That's the level I'm talking about.

I have one word. Or maybe multiple words strung together that are slightly less catchy, but allow me to more effectively express myself. Number one, pre-school should be more business-oriented. Any knucklehead can pull out a couple crayons and draw something crappy for mom. How will our toddlers become familiar with basic management principles, by locking them in the basement for 6 days with only the NY times business section? Not as effective as you might think, actually. I won't bore you with all the technical details of my proposal, but my ultimate vision includes untold thousands of 4-8 year-olds working for chicken broth. Make no mistake, there will be sorrow. There will be suffering. But in the end, I will be able to acquire far more in the way of material goods, than would otherwise be possible. And that is true freedom. (self-freedom)