Good Vibes Flow, Jihad Put On Hold

Finally, some good news from the Middle East. Disarmament talks with Iran continue to go smoothly, as indicated by one of today's international headlines: Iran Vows 'Burning Hell' for Any Aggressor.

The article also discussed flag-burning and subsequent marching. Then in a surprising twist, huge crowds began chanting, "Death to America", and "Death to Israel".

So I'm feeling a little blind-sided here--why the sudden hostility?? I think if more Iranians would simply give Baja Fresh and other popular American eateries a chance, we could turn this thing around. If you've never had a Burrito Pollo, Ultimo-style, how can you judge? Simple answer, you can't. Just as I've never stoned a woman to death for changing her underwear, many Iranians are still without DirecTV. As I understand it, many of them don't even realize that you can get Tivo and DirecTV to work together. That seems painfully rudimentary, yes.
But as I always say, strap 60 pounds of plastic explosives to your own body before you judge another. Also, "school bus bombing", and "terrorist" are examples of what my therapist refers to as "negative-imagery" words, and they just don't have a place in civil discourse.

Anyway, on the surface, such a political climate would seem to indicate the upcoming death and suffering of thousands. Actually, it seems like that under the surface, too. But in a way, the cards are now on the table. Everyone knows where they stand. And coming to terms with the idea of smelling your own burning flesh as you die in an oil fire is certainly half the battle. Indeed, I am forced to respect Iranian President Mohammad Khatami for his candid statements. It would have been very duplicitous of him to imply there would be no rotting in the bowels of hell for the Americans, if that was in fact his ultimate plan.

Consider the following admonition:

"The holy fire of heaven shall be unleashed upon the infidel pigs, but it will likely be spotty, and without consistency. More of a drizzling hell-fire, really. We will defend with our very lives this sanctified land, unless you guys are really serious, in which case we could take it or leave it. In this scenario, I can only guarantee great discomfort for the imperialists. They will definitely taste a small percentage, if not the full fury of, Allah's vengeful sword. I must add that noogies and wet-willies are still well-within the realm of possibility."

See? If he said that, you would have to doubt his sincerity. As it stands, I know he's not playing around. Honesty and trust are the basic foundations of any functional relationship, even a baby knows that. I think the important part is to show that we care, and maybe give high-ranking clergy gift certificates to Best Buy. I think they would really like that, it might take the edge off their burning desire to blow up small children. But how can we know until we try?

Let's give peace a chance.