This post is AMAZING

Based on some of my recent social research, in addition to 98% of all conversations I've overheard in the last few weeks, it would appear that the government has disallowed the use of any adjective aside from "AMAZING". While unprecedented and seemingly arbitrary, this rule allows everyone to save time and be more boring. Not to be judgmental, but honestly, it's like a bunch of 7th-graders babbling incoherently after a Hannah Montana concert.

Don't get me wrong--I have my own collection of overused pet words whose expiration date has probably long since lapsed. Example: "Sick" or "The Sickness".

Usage: "I enjoyed the energetic performance, engaging stage presence, and homage paid to earlier albums. Make no mistake, that concert was the sickness."

Ok, there's really no excuse for a man of my age to use this word, although as you will see in the next sentence, that will not stop me from attempting to excuse it. That's right, I believe mine to be a different sort of problem, mainly because I don't make a specific effort to pause for a ridiculous length of time between my pet word and other surrounding words. Lovers of the word "amazing”, on the other hand, are apparently required to space out the time preceding usage of the word to a preposterous degree, and if possible, not say any other words for 10 seconds following usage.

Example: "Their pecan-crusted halibut is....[intentional 10 year pause]......AMAZING."

[additional 8-year pause]

Memo to lovers of the word "amazing": This is a very common word, I don't need extra time to try and figure out its meaning. Instead of attempting to make time stand still, I would rather you complement the word "amazing" with additional adjectives which could help to convey what you actually mean, aside from "really good".

For instance, you might think someone's halibut is "amazing" because it's extremely spicy, and I might prefer my halibut to be so bland that I fall asleep while eating it. But now I am up a creek because you've decided that "amazing" is a magic word which can be used whenever you feel like saying a single word and then standing idly by as everyone else scrambles to decode your inane ramblings.

For the record, I like my halibut on the flavorful side, but that's just pure coincidence. You would have no way of knowing that, so I still request that you use unambiguous and descriptive adjectives when discussing halibut or other types of fish in my presence.

I realize that I am opening myself up to amazing criticism by posting something this amazing, but so be it. I also realize it's possible I'm hanging out around the wrong people. When I find new people, I'm going to test them by asking if they've heard of the Amazing Spiderman. If they say, "What do you mean by 'Amazing'?, I'll know they are my kind of people.

Related: My uncle's thoughts from a few years ago on another overused word.